whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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