had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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