HIV tests are more positive than that guy
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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