who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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