on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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