Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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