This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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