do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
