Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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