im so drunk with asians
where?
always
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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