Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
