i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
