I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
