the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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