i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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