hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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