Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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