Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
