guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
