Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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