look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I cut my penus on the lid.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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