He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
