Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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