The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
