Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it was like eating out sand paper
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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