Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
