when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
