i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize