I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
