It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
