LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
