I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I want to walk on stilts...naked
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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