Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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