somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
