Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
