whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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