just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
