I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have aggressive nipples.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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