question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
