thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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