I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
