Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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