Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
