Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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