Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
