help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
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I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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