Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
