He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
