you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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