He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
