What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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