Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
