She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
